Harry Potter and the wedding screw up
by The one the only PROBIE
Summary: Harry and Ginny are getting married! But can they stand the traumas of an egagement first? One things for sure with Harry around this ain't gonna be any normal wedding.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or anything that has anything to with it, but if i did it'd be alot more erotic and that's not necessarily a good thing

"Hey, Harry could you please get me a glass of milk from the kitchen?" Inquired Ginny from the couch reading the daily prophet.

"Sure Ginny." Replied Harry grabbing a glass from the cupboard. They were at the Burrow, hanging out with their favourite family. Harry got the milk out of the cupboard and poured it into a glass. Then he pulled a ring out of his pocket and dropped it into the liquid.

"Hey you no a glass of milk sounds like a good idea." Interrupted Ron, who was sitting beside Ginny on the couch, reading over her shoulder. "Hey Harry could you get me one too?"

Harry sighed and got a second glass out of the cupboard. Harry just finished pouring the milk when Ginny interrupted him again.

"Oh, Harry I'm not so sure about a glass of milk, could you get me a tea instead."

"Certainly." Harry put on the kettle and got another cup out of the cupboard again. Hermione walked through the door having just come from her SPEW meeting.

"Oh, Harry you making some tea are you. I'd love a cup."

"Fine." Harry got another cup out of the cupboard. He was starting to wonder how many more drink orders he was going have to take before he proposed to Ginny. The kettle boiled, Harry took it off the stove and turned back to the two glasses of milk. Damn he'd forgotten which glass had the ring in it. He picked both of them up and looked through the bottom of them; he saw the outline of the ring on the right one. He was thankful he used glasses and not crockery.

"Hey Harry how long does it take you to poor a glass of milk." Shouted Ron.

"Sorry. I'm coming." Harry poured the contents of the right glass into the two cups of tea. He saw the ring go into the right cup. Harry put the two cups of tea and glass of milk on a tray, He started to walk out to the lounge room, when George burst through the front door.

"Hey Harry, seeing as your up why don't you get me some orange juice stat."

"But I just…"

"No arguing Harry this is a life or death situation, if I don't get some orange juice soon I'm gonna faint."

Harry walked back to the kitchen and got the orange juice out.

"Hey I didn't know we had orange juice." Ginny added. "Oh Harry I know I keep changing my mind but could I please, please have some orange juice instead."

"Ok." Harry reached for two glasses and started to pour the orange juice into them. He had just put the orange juice away, tipped the cup of tea with engagement ring out and placed the ring in the orange juice when Fred burst through the door and with out any explanation grabbed the orange juice that had the engagement ring it and drank it. Then there was a horrid chocking, which made everyone turn to look at Fred.

"Oh My God! He's chocking!" Screamed Ginny. "Somebody help him!"

Hermione ran over to Fred and gave him the Heimlich manoeuvre, which finally made the ring dislodge it's self from Fed's trachea and fall into his hands. Everyone stared.

"It's a ring? An engagement ring?" gasped Fred confused with the unusual trinket. He had, had strange things lodged inside his throat before but nothing quite this strange. "Who's is it?"

"It's mine." Answered Harry annoyed about how much of a complete stuff up this situation was. Fred Looked at him confused for a second and then smiled.

"Oh Harry your very sweet but my mum will kill me if I marry some one the same gender as me."

"It's not for you, you idiot, it's for Ginny." Ron fainted, Hermione moved uncomfortably on the spot and George dived for the other glass of orange juice. Harry how ever ignored these unusual gestures and move over to Ginny and said.

"Well Ginny, even though it appears that I have some sort of thing for you brother, how about it. Will you marry me?"

"Only if you promise never to act on that thing." Replied Ginny smiling.

"I'll do my best." Mocked Harry.

"Then I guess it's a yes." Answered Ginny. Harry smiled.

"Oh My little baby's getting married." Screamed Mrs Weasley bursting out from the other room to go hug Ginny. Mr Weasley came in after her and shook Harry's hand.

"If you do anything to hurt my daughter, I'm going to kill you and make it look like an accident." Said Mr Weasley seriously, then seeing how shocked Harry was, laughed. "No seriously!" Then he laughed again. "I really will, I've got friends in low, low places who are prepared to do it."


	2. The Omen times two

Harry walked into the kitchen of his favourite seven sibling's family. It was the day after that screw up of a proposal.

"Hey Mr. W." said Harry clicking his fingers in a very casual way at Mr Weasley. Harry sat down. "Or should I call you Pap?"

"You're skating on thin ice boy. I meant what I said." Said Mr Weasley menacingly, but then he smiled as if he was joking, then back to the death stare, joking, evil eye, Happy.

'Ok, Mr Weasley has a split personality disorder.' Thought Harry.

"Hey Wench." Exclaimed George slapping Harry on the back jokingly.

"Stop calling me that." Muttered Harry, every one with the exception of Mr and Mrs Weasley had started calling him a wench.

"Well that's what you are. Aren't you wench?"

"Please stop calling me a wench." Pleaded Harry

"See you answered to the name wench. So there fore you're a wench." Concluded George knowingly.

"Who's a wench?" Asked Fred casually, coming in from the garden with an empty bottle of milk.

"Harry."

"Yeah, Harry there's no denying it you're a wench." Answered Fred putting the milk in the fridge. "Either that or your whipped or gay."

"I'm not gay!" Screamed Harry getting annoyed.

"So you admit it?" chimed in George happily he seemed to be feeding off Harry's annoyance.

"Admit what?"

"That you're gay." Finished Fred also seeming to be feeding off his pain.

"No I said I'm not." Replied Harry getting increasingly annoyed.

"Oh that's what they all say." Said George sitting down on a kitchen chair as if he was waiting for Harry to admit it.

"Mr. Weasley help! Please!"

"I would Harry but you can't deny the facts." Answered Mr Weasley wearily, whilst turning the page of the daily prophet.

"What facts? It doesn't even make sense." Harry was exasperated he almost wondered if all this craziness was a sign.

"Doesn't make sense, or just so damn crazy that it's true?" Countered Fred gleefully.

"Think about it Harry only the really gay people don't admit that they're gay." Added George knowledgeably.

"Well what can I say that would prove that I'm not gay?" asked Harry deciding to play there pathetic little game.

"That you are actually gay..." Answered Fred with a mocking smile on his face. Harry swore they were getting so weird high out of this.

"And that you are only marrying our sister to cover just to cover up your dirty little secret." Added George all to pleased with him self.

"Just like in Broke Back Mountain." Mocked Fred happily.

"Fine." Sighed Harry getting all too tired with this game and all the while wondering where Mrs Weasley was while all of this was happening. "I am actually gay and that I'm marrying Ginny just to cover up my dirty little secret."

"You are what?"

"Oh, Hey Ginny." Greeted Fred cheerily. "Harry was just telling us that he's gay."

Harry froze, they had planned this. Everything down from the to the casual entrances to the timing.

"Ginny I can explain." Said Harry hurriedly, deep down he was a little bit afraid of Ginny. Well every since he saw the cat fight with lavender Brown he wasn't surprised if every one was. She'd put her in a coma.

"Oh really…" Answered Ginny sceptically putting hands on her hips. "Well you better start explain or some ones going to end up in the morgue! And it's not going to be me!"

"Here we can help Ginny we have it all on tape." George pulled out a tape recorder happily and rewound it. Harry felt his stomach drop like a stone as he heard that phrase again.

"So you're gay huh!" Shouted Ginny her eyes welling with angry tears.

"No Ginny it's not like that."

"Oh really than what is it like cause it sounds like your gay to me." she started to clench her fists. Harry stopped breathing.

"Well I'm not I only said that because, because…" Harry couldn't think its funny how the lying part of your brain stops working when ones in a life or death situation. Then it came to Harry. "I said it because I'm appearing in a play!" Thank you Hermione for making me watch the Moulin Rouge thought Harry.

"A Play?" Ginny said with distaste.

"A play?" Repeated Fred and George in unison, it was creepy when they did that.

"Yeah umm… it's called err…" Harry's eye darted to the empty Milk bottle. "It's called The Milk Man's milk bottle an Empty story. It's a musical."

Ginny's weirdly Hulk like anger faded. "Ok, fare enough." Ginny sat down in a kitchen chair calmly. Harry drew breath once again "Now lets plan this engagement party." Harry stopped breathing again.

"Bugger, should have seen were the whole gay conspiracy was going to go." Thought Harry grumpily.


End file.
